Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ride Bull Gives You Wings

Say "Olé" to 2009 (will be the year of the Ox, according to the Chinese horoscope) and "good-fly" to 2008!

Have an oxellent 2009!

Sunday, December 21, 2008


Recently this year, we had Golden Boy Cristiano Ronaldo winning a golden boot - that was certainly noteworthy and something few people expected; but now we have something that tops that by a shoe heal. Actually two.

This is something that kicks the socks out of Ron's story, because this is about the pair of shoes size 42 that were swang at George W. Bush's head in Iraq and went around the world!

The Iraqui jornalist deserves kudos for the brave move and the excellent pitch that nearly got the retiring President right between the eyes - that was a heck of a shot and any baseball fan will admit that, but W. still got some cool moves of his own and ducked the passing shoe-t... great stuff and highly entertaining. We really have to offer kudos to W. for taking the incident with humor. Shoes were not his size, lol!

There was no real danger for W., since the shoes were not loaded, but the U.S. president could have had a taste of the deadly mass destruction gas his administration were looking for after 9/11, had the jornalist managed to toss at him his stinky socks...

Sunday, December 07, 2008

Golden Boy's 2008 Other Awards

I bring you now, first-hand, other awards that C. Ronaldo has won this year, in addition to the Ballon d'Or:

- Le Tete de Ballon (The baloon head)
- Metrosexual of the Year
- The Award for the 1st, 2nd and 3rd least humble footballer
- The Toddler's Vocabulary Award (much disputed and coveted in the football world)
- The IDIOTTO (I've done inough olready; taking time off)*

* hopefully, to improve his spelling and diction.

Feel free to add others. After all, if he wouldn't be special, the world wouldn't waste so much time paying attention to Ron...

Saturday, December 06, 2008

Snap Out of It Ron

This is not about Ron winning yet another award, albeit this one is the European Footballer of the Year; this is about a puny kid who grew up playing football on the streets tourists don’t visit, in Funchal, Island of Madeira.

From a young age, he looked promising, so he was brought to Lisbon aged 11 to be schooled with other kids like him and to develop his football skills. He achieved the second goal with distinction. The first goal, not so much. But who needs that when you have the respect and admiration of everybody around you for what you can do with your feet…
Doors were opening wide for the lad and he was barely 18. His dad, however, would not live to see “the boy wonder” turn into a global phenomenon, and too often, a prima-dona…

His father-figure has since become Alex Fergunson, his manager at ManU. But it is a tough job to baby-sit a young lad (23 y.o) that had a meteoric rise to fame and stardom. Especially if his humble beginnings were in a country that has once gain a position of prominence by craft and hard-work but then tossed it away due to self-indulgence.
C. Ronaldo is a tragic reflection of Portugal.

Portugal is a little Napolean - small, provincial, full of complexes; but sees itself as a giant and tries to measure up with the large countries of Europe. This often leads to frustration, followed shortly by poor self-esteem.
However, once and again, someone breaks away from this pattern and actually becomes one of the best in its trade. Voilá, presto, an instant big-headed Portuguese is made for the world to gasp upon, to love or to hate, whatever you fancy.

There are exceptions, of course. Say Figo, for instance. So there is no excuse for Ron to be an arrogant di**. Or dumb. But he can't be bothered and isn't the least worried, just as long he has people backing him and excusing his tantrums.

Quite frankly,C. Ronaldo and Mourinho, they both seem immune to negative feedback. They just believe in themselves too much to care what half of the world thinks (tinks, as they say) about them.
It is also true that some people are just plain jealous, but more and more people who closed an eye to Ron’s controversial behaviour in face of his football merits, are beginning to get fed up with his attitude as he’s not performing anymore and is letting us all down. However, I believe Ron will bounce back as he’s overdue to mature any day now..
Please forgive some duplication, as I already posted about this subject before.

Ps – Players of all nationalities dive, feign injuries, and use a all range of unsportsmanlike tactics to get leverage - let’s not get cocky and xenophobe about it, as I am tired of seeing that sort of fabrications being attributed merely to Southern-Europeans.
The difference is others may get away with it, because they are not Ron.

He still needs to man-up when things are not coming out right.
If he’s the best, then he has to step up and act like he’s the best.
So far, he’s not even on the same level as Figo used to be.

Saturday, November 08, 2008

Peep Show

For those unlucky enough to be unfamiliar with the brilliant Channel 4's comedy, the show it's about two brits with bad teeth who share an apartment, and their relationship with other brits with bad dental care.

As peep show viewers, we have access to their inner thoughts and the hilarious situations they get into.

A must see, a million-laughs TV comedy and a loud cry for an orthodontist!

Monday, November 03, 2008


There hasn’t been many times in my short life that I felt like history was in the making, right before our lives. There has been a few isolated events but nothing of this sort. There has been few men in history that have brought such a stir and such a seemingly unstoppable wave of worldwide support and expectation, with so little. Such man is a mere candidate running for the presidency of the good old U.S. of A. That man has been liked to John F. Kennedy, the first and last American President to move the world opinion and being herald to the level of pop star.Such man is Obama. Barack Obama. 'Nough said.

If this man was running for the hypothetical role of World Chairman instead of President of the USA, he would win by a landslide, no doubt about it.Being the US, he still has to run against prejudice and some darn stale pilgrims, as well.

Nevertheless, he seems to be winning.This is already a major victory for the US, and if Obama does win, then it will be a major victory not only for him and America, but for the all world, for it will mean that humanity is slowly but steadily advancing towards its adulthood...That's why I'm not concerned if Obama-president will not fulfil all the (high) expectations, as change does not happen overnight.

What I'm concerned about is that like Kennedy, Obama may find a premature end...However, if Barack Obama stands for something, he stands for HOPE - the kind of hope that brings people together and a better world. Thus, I would like to say: "Ich bin ein Barack Obama supporter"!
Go Obama! Win it for us!

It's time. See you in the Oval office.

Saturday, November 01, 2008

Algarve is All This & Much More

Spoiler: Left out the sunny beaches and the gastronomy, and other typical sights such as lobster-red boozy tourists and girls in thongs...

Friday, October 10, 2008

The Real Mcolon

Soon to be released in all major European languages, a new book aiming at casting more light over the 500 year-old myth surrounding Christopher Colom(bus).

Including the latest DNA tests, The Portuguese who discovered America will allow you to discover the real identity of the man famous for re-discovering America.

Ps - It will also reveal embarassing to Americans, hehe. But not to worry, Australians also had to re-write their History on account of the always-there-first Portuguese...

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Dude, Where's My Flag?

Red, Green and Yellow are usually colors that you find mostly on African flags.

Portugal got its current flag in1911, when most of the best colors and patterns had already been taken, but that's not why Portugal has such a tasteless flag.

In 1910, a coup d'etat was enforced by the republicans who eventually overthrown the monarchy and decided to get a new flag.
Normally, in such situations, the national colors are kept and only the symbols of the deposed regime are eliminated, eg. a star or a crown.

However this was not a overwhelming popular movement but a minority-led "revolution", hence the traditional national colors that had nothing to do with the monarchy but with the country's history (white and blue - the former represented the parliamentary constitution), were replaced by the colors of the republican party's flag. (Something similar happened in Russia, during the Soviet Union years, but even there normality has been restored, ultimately...)

What is worst, this has been covered up and the green has been camouflaged under the false allegation that "the green represented the fields of Portugal (mostly brown) and the red was the blood shed for the country"...
And by the way, the royal symbol, the crown, was replaced by a Masonic symbol, a globe or armillary sphere, that in spite of being a symbol of the Portuguese discoveries, its current meaning is actually related to the secret societies that conspired to bring down the monarchy and are responsible for bombings, and for murdering the lawful head of state and his son in 1908.

The sad part is, this fallacy is still being fed to people today, taught in schools and perpetuated shamelessly...
That's Portugal for you... a schizophrenic country under sedation, looking for its long lost identity...

Saturday, July 05, 2008

The Game in Spain

Congrats to Spain, for the brilliant victory on the Euro 2008 cup - they were outstanding and didn't leave any doubt of the fairness of their success, unlike Greece for years ago...

Just went to show what an opportunity Portugal squandred at home, in 2004... and it won't be easy to have another shot at playing a final again, let alone winning it...

Anyway, Spain did show the way. They have given a master class in how to deffend and attack, all wrapped in class and humble work...
The "Spanish carrossel" (the way they passed the ball around) reminded me of the Portugal's style of the early 2000's - the team had players like Rui Costa, Figo, Joao Pinto, Sergio Conceicao, Pauleta... in their prime.

I guess it was proven that a good team needs to have a good goal-keeper, as well... one that is not only good on penalties, taken by English players, that is.

Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Final Countdown

So, Germany vs Spain it is...
The red and yellow altfit have been looking impressive from the get-go, managing to beak the quarter-finals' curse that had been hoding them back for so long...

The white and ballack team have been exactly what everybody expected from them, except in the game against Croatia, but that was merit of the boys in checkers.
They wil have to play better than their topless team though...

So, may the best team (stil standing) win the final of Euro 2008 tomorrow.

Ps - It may go either way, but I still think Germany will take the title, which is probably for the best, because who needs the cocky spanish even more cocky than they already are? :P

Sunday, June 22, 2008

It's 11 Agaist 10 Then Germany Wins

I wasn't that wrong in my early predictions - Portugal was not a leading favourite and the tournment surprise is coming from the East: Russia - I ventured Poland, didn't miss by much.
As for Portugal, had me going there in the first two matches, but it was too good to be true; the team showed it's true collors and was punished severelly by Germany, that didn't even need to push the envelope to beat an amatourish deffense and a blundering goal-keeper that only looks good against England...

It was a well deserved defeat, made even more pitifull by the lacluster display of Ronaldo, who was virtually absent from much of the Euro... probably because his feet were still in Manchester while is head was already in Madrid.

Dear Mr. Abramovitch, if you are reading this, it's still not too late - buy Scolari a one-way ticket to Siberia...
Who knows, maybe Guus Hiddink will trade the Russian national team for a russian-owned team...

Turkey and Russia are indeed the most surprising and thrilling sides of the Tournement, the first with the 3 consecutive come-backs (against Switzerland, Czech Republic and Croatia), although I do not believe the die-hard turks wil do it again vs Germany; but the Russians take the cake, with the most entertaining and exciting football so far, trashing the allmighty Dutch on all counts!

It's easy to say so now, but I had the secret whish and a certain belief that they would do go through as they did, and I would love to see them win the final, now that Portugal is out... but my money is either on Germany or Italy, am affraid...

Oh well, at least we were the virtual champions of the Euro...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The Hills Are Alive With the Sound of Goaaallll!!!

...And of the news of Scolari leaving after the tournment, which is all the press is on and on about.
Damn Scolari and Chelsea, who cares, only the Brits who have nothing better to live for as, and this is always good to remind, they did not get their ticket for the Euro 2008!

Anyways, re Scolari, I won't miss him at all, and the team will get over him as well, although can't see yet who can replace him, as all Portuguese first choice managers are busy already, but we'll worry about that later - that's just why this was not the best time to bring this subject up.
Enough about that, then.

Portugal just got its odds upgraded, but I don't change a thing to what I said previously - Portugal is NOT the prime candidate to win the tournement yet, although it's now in the front 4 candidates.
They do need to improve their deffending and scoring to live up to their full potential, but like Obama says "Yes, we CAN"!!!

Sunday, June 08, 2008

In Style

Could have been 5, but 2 goals were more than enough to secure a solid win and a great exhibition from the team!

The lads put our minds at ease, they performed as a team, not as “stars”, so we may go all the way indeed and do the final waltz in Vienna, if they keep it up! And they proved in the opening game they sure can dance...

The Czecs will need more than luck in their next game...

Força Portugaaal!!!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Euro We Go Again

A few hours away from the initial whistle that will kick-off Euro2008 and Portugal's first game, the general expectations are mildly optimistic. Portugal has a few good players, including the more than likely next best world payer, C. Ronaldo, but they are a very young team and one that doesn't function so well as a group, so they are not very high on the favorites list.

Teams like Germany, France and Italy are in much better place and are the chronic candidates to final victory, although The Netherlands and Spain are quite formidable contenders, with a realistic chance to lift the Cup. I'd say Portugal comes next in line, along with perhaps Croatia.

Nevertheless, we never know with Euros won already by "outsiders" such as Denmark and Greece... so who knows, maybe this year it's Poland's turn...

Whatever happens in the end, Portugal is already the champion in the league of supporters, as the squad is always surrounded by scores of excited fans, like no other team.
Let's hope the players know how to return the same commitment and we may have a real team instead of stuck up primadonas.

Saturday, May 24, 2008


Is it me or the oil prices, more than high-octane, are just highly insane at the moment...

Even if you use the scant ecological alternatives, engines that run on water, frying oil or the crappy public transport service, the galloping fuel prices are still affecting the price of other stuff, food and whatnot!
This is just pure speculation, there is no real cause for the constant rise, there has been already 20 increases in Portugal since the beginning of the year! This is just another example of how Portugal is a rotten republic - in Spain the fuel costs less 10, 20 and even 30 cents p/liter! That's mainly because 60% of the petrol price is taxes going to the Portuguese government bottomless pocket!!! Scandal!!!

On the other hand, near the border, Spanish petrol stations are having a ball and Portuguese motorists are queuing and queuing to fill up, while many stations in Portugal are closing down, adding to the unemployment rate...
Furthermore, truck companies and other businesses are relocating to Spain, taking their taxes to our neighbors, while Portugal goes broke and trails behind the other European states... but who cares - football is neigh!... we worry tomorrow, let the matches begin!...

Friday, April 25, 2008

Lost in Carnation

Today, it's officially "the day we celebrate freedom", in Portugal. Also called "the carnation revolution", because instead of bullets there were red carnations coming out of the soldiers rifles on that day, 25.05.1974, when democracy and full civil rights were restored in Portugal.
Actually, this holiday is much like Christmas, only without the presents and the comforting food.

On yet another anniversary, grown-ups speak drearly about fraternity and liberty and listen to the traditional carols of the date.
Then, all is put away until next year, for another feel-good get together of the "fighters for democracy and freedom".

That is all very nice, and we are thankful, but the truth is, this velvety carnation revolution was only necessary because the tender first steps of baby democracy and freedom were smothered in the cradle, with the 1908 assassination of the king and royal prince, and then the deposition of the monarchy in 1910.

Since then and until 1974, Portugal hasn’t been Portugal and to this day, although more in tune with the rest of the western world, is still trying to find itself.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Bad Case of Identity Crisis

One of our most singular traits is our appreciation for foreigners. All Portuguese love foreigners (and not just in a sexual way) and will spare no efforts to serve them.

This is tightly connected to one other trait, which is the fact that most Portuguese have very low self-esteem, so in general they tend to self-depreciate the country they have, and to sublimate what is foreign.

Much of this "embarrassment" has roots in the 19th century, when Portugal arrived late to the Industrial Revolution age, much because after the Napoleonic invasions the country never had time to recover, because a civil war and the loss of Brazil followed suit.

Political stability was hard to come and economical growth was difficult in a country that had a long tradition of living off the colonial trade, which paid for the import of nearly all of the goods the country needed - "why produce them when we could buy them already made? (at highly inflated prices)", seemed to be the motto for too long, but the empire tap was not flowing anymore; if anything, it was costing more money to keep than the revenue it was providing ...

Culturally and scientifically, the country had been legging behind as well.
Religious control by the Inquisition was responsible for the stagnation of the arts, learning and thinking.
The downfall of an empire is always a hard blow to its people, but how to explain that a once vigorous people is so demoralized, it's not itself anymore?
Other nations of the world went through the same rise and fall, but many seemed to recover more easily than us.

For instance, the Spanish went trough similar convulsions as we did, however they got over it much better than us.
They have flare, we have nostalgia.
They have Flamenco, we have "fado" (fate).
They are cocky, we are apologetic.

For instance, they have bullfights, because that's who they are, and they don't care what others think or say about it. That's also why they have such thick accents when they speak other languages, as they don't care if you understand them or not, they believe everybody should speak their language. On the other hand, the Portuguese are renowned for being able to speak proficiently foreign languages, sometimes 3 or 4 different idioms with prestine accents.

Don't get me wrong, the Spanish are not better than us, just currently more successful, thus more proud. But they still suck when they try to compare their stuff to ours. That's why they try to take all the good things we have.
They can't cook as good as we do; they come furtively to fish in our waters; our wine, olive oil, and even Algarve are "cloned" on the other side of the border, etc - but all their attempts amount only to 2nd best...

The heaviest blow, in my opinion, has been the loss of identity that happened in the beginning of the 20th century in Portugal.
The transition from a 7 century old Monarchy to a incipient and hasty republic was bloody and criminal. The people who represented the nation, the stability, the centre, the tradition and the national values, the royals, were murdered or forced to exhile. Not for nothing, the last king of Portugal was called "The Patriot"...
Even the national colors, blue and white, were dropped for the red and green of a meer party, a faction, that has been as one sided as one can be... thus, how can a people that has lost memory of itself, of what it used to be, be proud again?

The only thing that makes a common Portuguese proud nowadays is success in Sport.
And that means Football, basically.
Mourinho, Figo and C. Ronaldo are the role models that the "new" Portuguese want to follow, in the hope we may achieve the greatness of yore.
These figures have done a good job, no doubt, making the Portuguese more proud (although Ronaldo and Mourinho sometimes have their peculiar moments and can be a bit uncool). But, a nation who has been great before, shouldn't need "pop" stars to be reminded of all its qualities.
The glorious past should be more than enough. If we can't respect ourselves, no one will.

Sunday, March 30, 2008

The Portuguese Way

Think of France, for instance, and dozens of images come to mind: the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the baguette, moldy cheeses, hairy arm-pits, voilá etc.

The same, if we think of other European countries, we always associate something to the specific culture, even if it's an erroneous stereotype.

But, what about Portugal? Stereotyped images made of the Portuguese are more close to the Mexicans of old westerns than to reality. In general, the Portuguese are portrayed like the Italian or the Spanish, but what are the distinct traces that make the Portuguese, er, Portuguese?
Sex was a good way to start, but we should have more to show for, when, for instance, a loaded bus of elderly Japanese tourists comes to town? Or when we need to milk our counterparts of the E.U. for more communitary funds?

So, what is the Portuguese way?
I C 1 way to go back to be what we used to be, what do you see?
Please submit your theories, if you have any.
I will get back to you soon.

Saturday, January 19, 2008


The people have spoken and what the people have in their mouth is "SEX".
Not fish, not food, not memories of sea-conquering navigations, what the Portuguese people are famous for, according to our recent poll, is their sex skills. Not their cooking, but their "coking".
Not codfish nor sardines, but the "tender loins". Not abridging the world by sailing the foamy waves, but by rocking the boat to the shores of Paradise.
So be it.
(...) to be continued, that is, if I see that sex is selling the blog to a bigger audience, not counting the usual pervs that flock here...

Saturday, January 05, 2008



1st February 2008: Portuguese Monarchists and all other citizens who strongly disapprove violence as a means to enforce political ideas, assemble in Terreiro do Paço Square at 05:00PM. All Portuguese monarchists in Portugal as well as living abroad are invited to take part in the hommage in Lisbon to mark the occasion of the Centenary of the Regicide.

07:00PM: São Vicente de Fora Basilica, Lisbon. Solemn Requiem High Mass (Roman Catholic Rite) "In Memoriam".

Ceremonies to be presided by His Eminence the Cardinal Patriarch of Lisbon, will include the deposition of flower wreaths and hommage to the tombs of His Majesty King Carlos I of Portugal and His Royal Highness Crown Prince Luis Filipe. Start time is 07:00PM sharp. PMIA-Portuguese Monarchist International Alliance recommends an arrival time at the Basilica, at 06:30PM. Cerimonies are organised by RAL-Royal Association of Lisbon.

© AIMP 2007-2010.