Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Welcome to FOODTUGAL!

If you love food, you will love Portugal.
We may not come in your country's "trendy" international cook-books, but some of us do cook and serve, in the kitchens of the best Restaurants in the world... alright, some of us do mop the kitchens and toilets of the world... but nevertheless, we DO have one of the best cuisines in the world - if not the best - I shit you not!
This bold statement may seem hard to digest and leave you farting and constipated at the same time, but that is just something you ate at breakfast. Of course the best way to prove it to you, is for you to “prove” (as in to taste) our food yourself; alas, it will be a while before BLOGUISTAN can serve its famous delicacies online (we're being fumigated at the moment); so although we may only offer you these sour pages for now, I will try to spice them up with a colorful description of our food habits.

The Portuguese live to eat. Just as other people love their booze, we love our food - and this is no overstatement. We even name places after it! For instance, one my ask if that direction-sign in the photo is also the local Menu, for above and under the Portuguese word for “butter(s)”, someone witty wrote “cheese” and “ham” – 19 Euros, instead of kilometers.

It would be fastidious to describe in detail all the excellent fresh fish dishes we have (being on the Atlantic coast line) or the succulent meat (from the mountains in the north to the plains in the south), or the different bread, wine, cheese, olive oil, deli, deserts, etc, etc, etc...
Suffice to say that we are known to have a different recipe to cook fish or chicken, for each day of the year - and they are all scrumptious.

Many French may like to point out, with their long baguettes in hand and smelly, moldy cheese in their breath, "French cuisine is the most refined in the world"; and so it may well be, we don't care for pretentious food or titles and ludicrous tiny servings - that's why our food is a secret well kept - we cherish it so much that we are unwilling to share it with the world.
Furthermore, even when we cook foreign food, we do it better than the original - to attest this, just check the story of the Portuguese baker and official maker of all the baguettes and croissants of “Messieur Le President” Chirac or the award winning Portuguese chefs that cook for France...

The problem with food is once we start, we can't get enough! I have not yet said everything about Portuguese food - but I will have to leave it marinating, for now...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I Found Gold

Has anyone noticed that if you invert (mirror-like) the word "blog" you get "gold"?
Yeah, no big deal and you just wasted your time. Fool's gold.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Guide to Poortugal II

Welcome to Poortugal once again.
You will know you have crossed the border, as your ride will get a little bumpy.
We take great pride in leaving no doubt that we are an independent State, having little in common with our larger neighbour next door.

Upon arriving in Poortugal, motorists may be faced with the sudden slimming of roads, immediately after crossing the border; if your Mini Morris is jamming all the sheep and goat traffic, not to worry - you may actually ride on one of the few "Triple-deckers", in the World...
Enjoy your trip.